asshole of the year?

i fucking hate aaron.

yes i wrote it down.

i hate him.

i have never ever hated someone so much in my life. and it sickens me that we had SEX and made a beautiful baby (well that part doesn't sicken me haha).

he owes me so much in child support. and he can't pay because his bills are more important. than his child. which i already knew isaiah wasn't too important to him because he moved across the fucking country. and now aaron wants to VISIT. fuck you. FUCK you. we don't want you here. we NEED your MONEY. do you know what its like to get eviction notices EVERY MONTH?! do you know what its like to not have food in the house for your kids? do you know how it is to not be able to pay for diapers?

goddammit. he is. a scary mother fucker. i can't even tell him this for fear he will flip out and take isaiah away.

i contacted a lawyer who gave me advice. i should turn in the custody papers and ask for the fees to be waived. its $400. i need to do this before the child support order goes through and his wages get garnished. i have a feeling he will not be happy.

i hate him. i absolutely have no feeling for him other than disgusting hatred.

WOMEN

sometimes i seriously HATE being a fucking chick.

though. maybe its only me. (i doubt it.)

but females of all flavors SUCK.

we fuck with men's heads. we play games. we make them fall in love with us and then we stomp on their hearts and minds. we are sexy as fuck and can make men do anything. or we're ugly as sin and they don't want anything to do with us. we're bitchy. hormonal. jealous. whiny. rude. sweet. kind. we have BOOBS. we are sick in the head. we want love but we want good sex and they don't come together.

i hate us.

ronery

my head is jumbled.

i need time for me.

i need money.

i need... someone to care about me. *sigh*

pity party.

:D

i'm so weird.

done!

yeahhhh. i thought i'd feel... sad or something. but i feel... like a weight has been lifted. too much drama. i need to simplify my life.

starting with michael. he's out.

selling my van. top priority.

buying a bike that is 2 kid friendly.

getting a cheaper phone.

hmmm...

i know there is more...

explain please

how can you be a vegetarian - for ANY reason, morals, health, taste, etc. - and do things like... smoke cigarettes? or drink 4 diet pepsi's a day? eat peanut butter cups for breakfast?


i'm not a vegetarian. i don't want to be. i enjoy vegetarian food. i like vegan food. i like gluten free food. i'll try anything. i don't claim to be a health nut. but i feel healthier than a lot of veggie's claim to be. i don't drink soda. i don't smoke. i eat a good breakfast and lunch and try to make a good dinner every night. and YOU look down on ME because i eat MEAT!?


what the eff.

i'm so fucking poor

wow. i am so incredibly fucked. where the fuck is all my money? oh. oh yeah... the douche bag that inseminated me owes me A BILLION MOTHER FUCKING DOLLARS. in reality he owes me over $3,000.

thursday midday

tomorrow is david's last day at work. it makes me almost want to cry. i am actually trying hard not to think about it. i'm gonna be stuck here with claire. nobody to talk to. or make fun of. i hope they hire somebody at least half as cool. :( we took pictures today of all of us on day crew. i'll post some later when i get home.

and jen from for your pleasure called me! i have to call her back but she wants to get me started on selling!!!!! MY GOD I AM SO EXCITED!!!!! I can do this. I know this sex stuff. i wouldn't say i'm a terrific seller, but if i act like a retard people will buy from me because they feel sorry for me, right? :D